Congratulations on your choice to adopt! You'll hear it said in the adoption community that with adoption, it's not a matter of "if", it's a matter of "when". Now that you've chosen adoption, you will be a parent, it's just a matter of time.

Adoption is one of life's most fulfiling and richly rewarding experiences, but the path to adoption is not always easy. The adoption process can be time-consuming, frustrating, and discouraging.

Each adoption has similarities, and each has it's own unique circumstances. Most adoptions begin and are sustained by an amazing committment to wanting to be parents that make it possible to go all the way from your very first inquiry on Fertilethoughts adoption forums to "Gotcha Day", and ultimately on to finalization. During that time, your love, committment and relationships may be tried on many levels.

Your patience, resolve and love can be fortified through the support and encouragement given by other adoptive and hopeful adoptive parents. When you're adopting, it's comforting to know that you are not the only family to wait for what seems like "forever" just to start your home study; nor will yours be the first visa for an international adoption to be "held up." It's reassuring to know that there are other families out there that are also waiting or had a long wait.  We've been there too -- and many of us are here now for you to lean on. Our children are here as living proof that adoption works! As you complete your own adoption journey, we hope that you'll continue to come back and support other families that may have been what you've been through.

Now that you know that our forums are full of other families who have BTDT (Been There Done That) we're going to help you figure out what to do next.

STEP 1: Learn everything you can about adoption and the adoption process. Anyone just starting to learn about adoption is completely and utterly overwhemed! There are so many choices and adoption can seem complex and confusing. While it can be difficult at times to get accurate information, there are some things you can do now to make your adoption process easier on you and your family.

STEP 2: READ EVERYTHING YOU CAN ABOUT ADOPTION! Books on adoption topics are available at your local library, bookstores and adoptive parent groups. Many agencies also have a library where books and videos on adoption can be checked out. Post a message on the GoAdoption forums and get a recommended reading list from the other participants if one is not already featured.

STEP 3: Think about the type of child you want to parent. Do you want to parent an infant, pre-schooler, older child, sibling group, disabled, or multi-cultural child? Talk to other adoptive parents about their experiences with the type of child you're interested in adopting.

STEP 4: Find and join a local adoptive parent support group. The folks in those groups are a wealth of knowledge and they've been exactly where you sit today - just starting out in the adoption process. They can also be a wonderful source of support when you need someone face-to-face. Talk with other adoptive parents and learn about their experiences. This group will be wonderful resource even after you bring your child home.

STEP 5: Attend and informational meeting. These are usually held at local adoption agencies or adoption exchanges.

STEP 6: Post a message in the Fertilethoughts forums to other families to see how they came to choose the program that they did. The reasons will not only enlighten you, but they will probably give you plenty to think about too.