Our Story

Hello and thank you for reading our letter!

Our names are Stephannie and Christopher and we’re hoping to adopt a baby. We’ve been considering adoption for quite awhile and it seems like there is no aspect of parenting we haven’t considered and talked about in depth. We are really ready for this adventure and commitment.

Our story began about 15 years ago, when we first met through mutual friends. Both of us were in other relationships and quite honestly, it never crossed our minds that we’d be together. We were great friends from the start – our compatibility was so obvious that even Stephannie’s mom (more than a decade ago) would say, “Why aren’t the two of you together? You are each other’s other half!” It wasn’t until a few years ago that things shifted, and we looked at each other as if for the first time. One of the sweetest things about the way our love for each other unfolded was that there were no surprises – we knew everything about one another – strengths, weaknesses, family, life experiences – and so our marriage seemed the most natural thing in the world.

Stephannie’s Story:

Looking back, I feel so fortunate for the home I grew up in. My mom was an elementary school teacher, and my dad was a school psychologist. Both came from very modest backgrounds and had put themselves through graduate degrees without a single penny from either of their families. My parents were first generation students – all of their parents had come to America from Italy – and my childhood was filled with delicious food, music, celebration and huge family gatherings.

I was a singer and pianist in college, and I always thought I’d be a professional musician – headed either to opera stages or to Broadway. Once I graduated, I realized that I preferred teaching to performing and I opened my own music studio and taught for about seven years. I always knew that I had a special ability to teach, and that I especially loved working with children, but I didn’t spend much time considering children of my own.

During that time, I began studying Tibetan language. I spoke French and Italian growing up and had a talent for languages. Because of my interest in Tibetan Buddhism, Tibetan language seemed intriguing. Eventually, I found an opportunity to live in Tibet, study with scholars and work for a non-profit organization dedicated to the health and education of Tibetan children. It was amazing! I lived throughout freezing cold Tibet and remote jungles of India, running children’s schools in extremely poor conditions, and I even started an orphanage for Tibetan girls. Sometime during that period, I realized I had to be a mother. Each of the girls in my orphanage was like a daughter to me – I often wished I could take all of them home to the U.S.

Christopher and I fell in love during one of my visits home. I had become sick with illness that ultimately led to a hysterectomy, so my stay in the U.S. was prolonged by surgery. It was an odd time – the happiness of falling in love with my best friend was mixed with the sadness of knowing I would never give birth to a child.

Once I returned to Asia, my course had shifted. I missed Christopher so much! And eventually, I decided to return to the U.S. and marry him. I knew my life would be perhaps “less exotic” but I couldn’t wait to be with the person my mother had always called “my other half.” I came home and we got married – me in an Indian wedding dress.

Now, I work with graduate students pursuing careers in Public Global Health. It is great to see young people with the same passion that I have and it is nice to live in such a wonderful country like America. I hope that I will share some of my own passions and adventurous spirit with my child one day by taking them to other parts of the world and experiencing the joy of helping people less fortunate than we are.

Christopher is an incredible partner. I have never felt so loved and understood by a person in all my life. Watching him parent his own son has awed me, and I am deeply grateful that he’ll be the father of our child.

Christopher’s Story:

I started building things in junior high. Since my family was not very well off, I supported myself by working after school and during the summers as a landscaper, painter and carpenter. It was during that time that I realized I had a knack for construction and design. I was known as the guy who could fix or build absolutely anything – theatre sets, tree houses, bicycles, model airplanes. When I was 13, we didn’t have enough bedrooms in our house, so I renovated the coal bin into my own fully finished bedroom.

While I was growing up, I spent every weekend that I could with my grandparents. My mother was often sick and my dad had to work several jobs to make ends meet, so my grandparents were the people I turned to for love and support. I always loved to read, and my grandfather had rooms full of books. He encouraged me to read and explore anything I was interested in – even when I was just a little kid. My grandfather was a self-taught engineer and technical draftsman. Since he’d never had the chance to go to college, he did all that he could to support my passion for learning. I learned so much from his books – the mechanical histories of airplanes and trains, the work of Michelangelo and the art of M.C. Escher, techniques of drawing, painting, sculpture and building machines, and I even read a whole set of encyclopedias.

When I was in high school, I was intent on going to college. No one in my family had ever gone to college, so I was all on my own to figure things out. I took all of the recommended college prep courses, which happened to be scheduled at the same time as the classes I really wanted to take – art, music and shop. I also loved theatre, so when I wasn’t working, much of my after school time was spent in rehearsals.

Once I got to college, everything was about academics. Unexpectedly, I was in an accident that temporarily threw me off of my academic path. As I was recovering, I began revisiting those old hobbies – I began singing in a choir and learning instruments. I started building, sculpting and doing art again. I discovered a new hobby - building instruments – something that combines my enjoyment of music with my love of working with wood. So while I never got around to taking those courses in high school, my life made its own turn toward art, music and shop.

Currently, I am a supervisor for a small, but high-end, construction company specializing in green remodeling and renovation. To some, a job in construction might not seem so exciting, but to me – it’s art. I get to design whole buildings from the bottom up. I get to turn dingy basements into beautiful, light-filled libraries. I get to turn attics into nurseries and I get paid to play with tools!

Before Stephannie and I got together, we were best friends for a long time. She was really like no woman I’ve ever known – funny, confident and extremely silly, but in a moment she could become totally gentle and nurturing. She was a great comfort to me during some very difficult times in my life. She’s going to be a great mom.

More about Us

Our Home:

In early 2009, we bought a home on three acres of forestland. Both of us love nature and spending time outdoors, so our house is in a perfect setting for our family. A family of about a dozen deer are often in the yard or peeking through the woods, taunting our dogs. We have another family of woodchucks living under a wood pile. With bird feeders all over the yard, we attract amazing birds of all sorts that you wouldn’t find closer to town. It’s a very peaceful place.

In the center of our backyard is a bonfire pit. Last summer, we spent many evenings gathered around. Sometimes we have bigger gatherings of friends and family, but most often it’s just the two of us and our dogs enjoying a quiet night under the stars with a roaring fire. Both of us love to camp and some of Christopher’s fondest childhood memories are of camping with his dad and siblings. We’re looking forward to camping with our child.

We’ve done a lot of renovations to our new home this year and have many more in store. Since Christopher is a builder, it means there’s no project too big! This past year, we made many changes to the inside of our house and in the coming year, we plan to rebuild our porches and design decks and gardens. We just put a fresh coat of paint on our baby-to-be’s room, and are about to put in new flooring. We want to make a special place for a little one to rest comfortably, and a place that can grow and change with our child over the years.

Our home is a place that is always filled with the sounds of music and laughter. Since both of us are musicians, we are often playing instruments, singing, or listening to music. We have a number of instruments in our house – a piano, a guitar, a mandolin, a dulcimer and a few flutes – so if our child wishes to learn about music, there will be plenty of opportunities.

Religion:

Both of us practice Buddhism. For some people, Buddhism seems an unusual religion, but we were attracted to Buddhism because of its teachings of love, patience, generosity and compassion, and we strive to embody these ideals in our everyday lives. We are part of a very active Buddhist community that does work all over the world to help children and other people in need. Locally, the community is in the process of establishing a farm that will provide food for homeless and struggling people here in Michigan. Our community is also a source of great fun - we often have dances, art classes, concerts, parties, festivals and many events that are geared towards children. Our child will likely grow up amidst a group of fun and loving playmates, the children of our closest friends.>

Family

The Big Brother:

Joe is Christopher’s 15-year old son who lives with us part-time. He’s a really unique kid - unusually bright and unusually affectionate - something like an encyclopedia in a teddy bear’s body. He loves art, and makes extraordinary abstract paintings with his computer. This year he’s discovered two new hobbies - crew team and photography, and he’s never without his 35mm camera.

Joe has always wanted a younger sibling, so when we shared the news of adoption, he immediately insisted we keep a board in our kitchen where we could all start writing down favorite baby names. He can’t wait to take his new family member camping, or to help with homework.

Our Pets:

We both love animals. Even while Stephannie was living overseas, she was always taking in stray kittens and helping to feed stray and sick dogs that were all too common in Asia. Once we got married, we immediately started our pet family by rescuing our first cat, Melody Pancake, a shy but very sweet calico cat who needed a home. Next, came Barnaby Poptart, a gleeful and mischievous golden doodle puppy. Once his puppy stage settled down a bit, we realized he needed a pal and we began looking for a dog needing to be rescued. Soon we found Shelby, our Airedale mix whose parents had lost their home and were looking for new owners. A short time later, we heard about Jack, a gorgeous black kitty whose mom could no longer keep him due to her health condition. Now, four pets later, we’ve decided we’re done adding new pets. Luckily, we still have plenty of room for a baby!

We couldn’t have come across a more perfect combination of pets. Melody is the most independent, and acts somewhat “superior” to the other animals, but Jack, Barnaby and Shelby are like the Three Stooges – always wrestling, snuggling and getting into trouble together. They are wonderfully affectionate and love to meet new dogs, people and children. We’re sure that they’ll love a new family member to kiss and cuddle.

Extended Family:

We are fortunate to have all of our parents still living. Stephannie’s parents live in Florida in a beautiful home close to the beach. We try to visit them several times a year, and Stephannie’s folks come up and her mom stays with us for a month each summer and winter. Once a baby arrives, she will come for a week every month. We’ll be so lucky to have her support, and we’re happy that our baby will have such close ties to her. Stephannie’s parents have been a huge part in helping to make adoption possible for us. They are extremely generous people.

Stephannie has a brother in North Carolina with three adorable sons, each who is a better soccer player than the next. They too are excited to meet a new cousin, and will be great playmates!

Christopher’s parents both live in northern Michigan. It’s hard for them to travel, so we tend to head up north for holidays. He also has two siblings – a brother and a sister – and we’re very close to both of their families. On his side of the family, we have three nephews, two nieces and tons of cousins.

Thank you

We understand that everyone’s has different levels of comfort with open adoption, and we’re happy to explore this with you. We are comfortable with sharing updates and photos and having occasional visits, but we’re also OK if you prefer less or no contact.

Thank you for taking the time to learn about us. We feel blessed for our good fortune – there is so much love in our home that we want to share it. We hope this letter has helped you get to know us a little bit. We wish you the very best in your decision and always.

Sincerely, Stephannie and Christopher